I like your piece, it's nice, it has a concept, but there are certain parts that fall flat for me. I hate leaving low votes without explaining why because I know that when I get low scores I want to know why I hope you feel this way too. I'll focus on two things:
1) Proportions- her neck is too long and that makes her body look too short, so try to focus on that. Also, symmetry. Each half is very consistent from top to bottom, it just looks slanted... you know what I mean?
2) Her boobs look flat and kinda saggy because you got the shape wrong, which is common because the majority of people aren't looking at boobs at all hours of the day. It's also partly because her cloak doesn't curve around them.